Questions of Mine

I know it has been a while, but I would like to share with you how I’m feeling at the moment. I feel happy and sad. I feel like this weekend I had to make a choice between my significant other and my family. I don’t know if I made the right choice. There is a guilt that weighs on me so much that I can’t really breathe, but I had to do it. I never thought I would be in a situation like that, but I was.

I’ve been with him for a long time. So much so that sometimes I feel like the comfortableness that I feel is just me being bored. I love him, and I don’t say these things very often. I may say I love a friend, because at the end of the day, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them, but I don’t fall in love very easily and that’s why I hate making this kind of choice.

He has inspired me to better in school, to be my best in doing anything and everything. He has made me what to better myself and the world around me, yet I have to choose. He has made me stronger, prouder to be who I am, and yet I must choose. It is not him who is making me choose, it’s them. My family, who I have to work so hard to please. I don’t have to do anything to please him. I just have to hug him once in a while. (He likes hugs.)

I feel like this isn’t really a great welcome back post, but I made it this far, so I might as well keep going.

I chose my boyfriend this weekend. Over my family and their expectations. All you guys and girls out there, be thankful no one is making you choose and if they are, make sure the choice you make doesn’t break your own heart.